my escape

sitting here in a crowded room surrounded by family and friends
everyone smiling, happy content
content with the life that they have chosen
life, or would it be more aptly described as death
a long slow death that they are languishing in
they peacefully walk through their days
blissfully unaware of the cancer that is eating away at their existence
why cant i be more like them
why am i so unwilling to take my place among the flock with the rest of the sheep
why is it that I'm always left wanting more
typical for me as of late i find myself drifting away
like some lonesome cloud floating lazily along on a cool summers morning
to my escape from this mundane existence that i find myself wallowing in day after day
my thoughts again turn to you
you are my distraction, my beautiful distraction
wondering what you might be doing
is your day going well
do you ever think of me
my flower in the midst of this desert that has become my life
are you even real or just some apparition that I've conjured up to help give solace to my weary soul
my body aches to hold you, if only for a moment
your eyes, always your eyes, drawing me ever deeper into this web you have spun for me
to taste the honey dripping from your sweet lips
to feel your soft warm skin pressed close to mine
the smell of your hair as in gently kiss your neck
my desire for you is insatiable
my lust for you cuts me to the core
each moment spent, leaves me yearning, wanting for more
ever wanting, always out of my reach
left for dead, you found me, tucked neatly away in the inner most reaches of my heart
you breathed life back into my drowning soul
restored my spirit, gave me back my zest for living
made my existence immeasurably more bearable
made me smile